Parting Ways for Peace

Jacob reconciled with Esau. But he knew they couldn’t be roommates again.

“Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. … Jacob said, ‘Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me …’” (Genesis 33:4, 11)

Though Jacob expected the worst, the Lord set up a tear-filled reunion that reversed the pain of the past.

Instead of quarreling, the brothers humble themselves (Genesis 33:3).

Instead of taking vengeance, Esau offers an embrace (Genesis 33:4).

Instead of stealing the blessing, Jacob gives it away (Genesis 33:11).

With the baggage behind them, the brothers seemed set up to move back in—to return to the life they once shared.

But Jacob knew better. He and Esau may have put the past behind them, but they were not moving in the same direction. 

Esau had married into the line of Ishmael and settled in the land of Seir (Genesis 28:9). 

Jacob was carrying Isaac’s name and waiting for the inheritance of Canaan.

“So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. But Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built himself a house …” (Genesis 33:16)

Jacob sent Esau ahead and stopped in Succoth, not because he hadn’t forgiven his brother, but because he wanted to keep their newfound peace. He knew that each man would need space to stretch out. 

We don’t have to choose between enmity or integration—between rivals or roommates. 

There is a gracious middle ground. 

Pursuing peace often means releasing the bitterness, blessing the other, and accepting the wisdom of parting ways.

Jacob settled away from Esau at first because they couldn’t be together without war. Bitterness stood between them.

The second time, he settled away because he embraced God’s distinct purpose. Love was the reason for the distance.

Jacob needed room to establish the altar of “El-Elohe-Israel” (Genesis 33:20). He needed terrain to come home with a new name. He needed to live apart from his beloved brother so that he could step into his God-given call.

This wasn’t the end for Esau and Jacob. Soon, they would be back together, burying their father in peace (Genesis 35:29). At the right time, God would cross their paths again. But the “land of their sojournings could not support them” taking permanent residence side by side (Genesis 36:7).

Bless your brother with a whole heart. In love, send him on to Seir—into the broad borders of God’s purpose. Where cramped quarters are prone to draw a quarrel, a season of space is often the way to peace.